He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
