I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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