Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
