drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Randomize
