There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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