Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
