thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
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