Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
You ruined the universe
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Randomize
