I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
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