why didn't you poke me back
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
