I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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