ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
zippers are such a cool invention
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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