we have pet lesbian snakes
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
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