Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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