May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
