where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
They took my balls.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
