Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Randomize
