If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
It was confusing and full of hummus
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
