Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
