I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
