i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
