it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Randomize
