Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
