You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
