I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
