return my video game
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize