I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
