and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
