i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
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