Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
