im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
