dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
it glows. i had to have it.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
