Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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