he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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