Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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