I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Randomize
