Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
