you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Come back. Shots need mouths.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Pants are for mortals
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
