Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
