Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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