Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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