Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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