You really coming over, don't trick.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
