Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize