The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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