i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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