I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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