My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
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