Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
