she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
