i barfeds in our rink
is wine microwaveable?
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
