don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
