sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
