Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
My dad just said "fuck circus"
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
