I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
