You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
