what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
How does one acquire holy water?
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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