i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Randomize
